We are Diego's 23 - Midfielders

Keepers and defenders out of the way, I'm turning my beady eye to the engine room now.

Holding types, right sided, left sided, down the middle, attacking or defensive. Enforcers, wingers and playmakers, pulling strings or mixing things up. They're all here. Sort of.

Javier Mascherano - Liverpool (Angleterre), just about 26, 57 caps, 2 goals

Diego Maradona recently said his team would be 'Mascherano and ten others'. I'm not convinced that Diego has had some biological schooling over the last 20 years that has resulted in him being able to clone players, so we'll just assume it's one of those 'first name on the team sheet' type references.

Not difficult to see why. 'Masch', as I've just decided to refer to him, is very much top dog in the 'enforcer' role worldly wise, but there's a lot more to his game. Yes he can tackle, and he certainly grafts his, erm, socks off but he's also a very competent passer and more than capable of putting his foot through the ball when need be. And opposition forwards.

Juan Sebastián Veron - Estudiantes (Argentina), 35, 70 caps, 9 goals

On to Juan Sebastien. Destined to forever be an expensive stick to wave at Alex Ferguson, Veron was the complete midfielder in his previous life at Lazio. By the time he had found his way to the shores of England though, 'Seba' had clearly went through a full box of shite tablets. He was awful. Why Chelsea with all their new found wealth were prepared to put a huge amount of cash United's way after it was apparent Veron 'wasn't really suited to English game' remains one of life's great mysteries. All said and done though, Veron was always a lot more comfortable in the sky blue and white of his country, and is clearly a lot happier seeing out his days 'back home'. In the starting XI as the man to make the killer passes for Messi, Tevez, Aguero and Milito to score from. That what it says on the tin anyway.

Maxi Rodríguez - Liverpool (England), 29, 36 caps, 12 goals

Not yet 30, Maxi is one of those players that is past his sell by date early. However his goalscoring record wherever he has played, including his country, is pretty impressive. Now plying his trade at Anfield (for this week anyway), Rodríguez's selection in El Diego's 23 may have raised a few eyebrows when considering some of the others that didn't make it. Not a certain starter, but Maxi can still add a touch of class for ten minutes or so if need be.

Mario Bolatti - Fiorentina (Italy), 25, 5 caps, 1 goal

Scruffy looking, normally, although IBWM notes that this lanky playmaker had a haircut and a shave recently. Bolatti is yer backup Veron who scored the late goal against Uruguay that got Argentina here. Fairly intelligent player that knows where to run and how to pass a ball, will probably benefit from Veron jacking this all in at some point.

Angel Di Maria - Benfica (Portugal), 22, 8 caps, 1 goal

As mentioned earlier, IBWM really rates Di Maria and thinks he could turn out to be La Albiceleste's key player in South Africa. Devastating on the ball, he has the complete wingers package of being able to cross as well. Throw in a decent shot and he almost becomes another striker. Well almost.

Jonas Gutiérrez - Newcastle United (England), 26, 16 caps, 1 goal

Ah Jonas. IBWM knows him very well so let me give you the lowdown.

When Newcastle announced they had signed Gutiérrez, the local papers in this parish were full of how he would regularly don his spiderman mask to celebrate all these goals he would score. Wow. IBWM liked the sound of that. So much so that IBWM went all Don Howe and checked his stats from previous clubs. Lots of appearances, not many goals. Hmmmm. Not be seeing the mask much then. Ok, he's a winger, lots of assists then? Er......no.

At first I wondered how this was possible for an international winger, but two years later it all makes sense. Jonas creates havoc on the flanks, but rarely puts a cross in and rarely gets on the scoresheet. But it's all ok......honestly.

Effectively he runs, albeit gracefully, and that's pretty much it. Runs and runs. A bit like the deaf kid at junior school who just put the hood up on his parka and did laps round the yard. He helps his full back out too and never ducks a challenge. He sets up other people by pulling defenders out of position and he wins free kicks galore in dangerous areas. I think you'd call it 'advancing play'. Could quite easily be one of the best in the world if there was just something you could count.............don't be fooled by statistics though, he's great.

Javier Pastore - Palermo (Italy), 20, 2 caps, 0 goals

Still a bit raw but certainly an exciting talent as an attacking midfielder. Really finding some form going into the World Cup although he's by no means a starter due to Messi being better than him. Poor kid. Definitely in the 'next big thing' bracket though.

Comments welcome.