"Well, helllooooooo.........."

You were going to get my two bob worth on El Diego's 30, but then I spotted this little pearl in today's Daily Mail and thought, 'I can't let that go'.............

Lionel Messi has taken a swipe at Ashley Cole by inviting the England defender's wife Cheryl to join the Argentina camp at the World Cup.

X Factor judge Cheryl split from Chelsea left-back Cole in February following revelations he had sent naked pictures of himself to a string of women's mobiles and allegations he had been cheating.

Cheryl is unlikely to be joining the rest of the England WAGS in backing Fabio Capello's side in South Africa so Barcelona star Messi has stepped in.

He said: 'I don't know if Cheryl is going to want to support England. She might be a bit anti-England players at the moment.

'If she is looking for a new nation to follow at the World Cup, she should look no further than Argentina.

Cheryl Cole. Yes, me too.

'We play the prettiest football, have the prettiest players, and Argentinian men also know how to treat their women.'

And Messi would love 26-year-old Cheryl to join the party if Argentina land the big prize.

He added: 'She would of course have to do the Tango. I don't think there would be a shortage of Argentinian players willing to help teach her.'

Well.....just when you think you know someone.

And here was me, just saying how wholesome he was. That's blown that.

Just shows you, it's the quiet ones. So whether Leo now fancies his chances down on Newcastle's Quayside, I have no idea; I'm sure Jonas and Coloccini could take him on a bit of a tour.

Thing is though, take the talent away, and the money, and he looks like a computer club nerd. Probably turn out that he's as smooth as silk, hung like a carthorse and would have the girls all over him anyway.

Leo Messi, recently

Maybe this is just El Diego's influence.

It was all going nicely for little Leo; best in the world, ready to lead his team to glory, sort that makes his mother proud........and then Maradona with all his demons comes into his life and it's off the rails before you can sneeze.

I'm off to the bookies. Fifty quid says he'll get caught snorting a line off Lady Gaga's bollocks before July is out..............