Pampers

News reaches IBWM this evening of El Diego’s choice of water closet.

That’s the shitehouse to you and me.

According to the South African Sunday Times, the man himself has no interest in dropping his kex for the sort of crapper that has been deemed good enough for Fabio Capello et al, oh no. Diego has, via the Argentine FA, ordered an ‘E-Bidet’ for this summer.

The story goes thus;

The E-Bidet features a heated seat, a warm air blow-dryer and front and rear bidet wands. It sells for 450 dollars (358 euros) at online retailer sandman.com, which bills it as "the world's best toilet seat".

The head of the University of Pretoria's High Performance Centre, Argentina's base camp for the June 11 to July 11 tournament, said staff had received a special request from the Argentine national association to remodel the football legend's bathrooms.

"They felt that the basins and toilet bowls were not up to Maradona's standards,"

Now in this modern world of i-phone and e-mail etc, I have no idea of what gives a bog such space age gadgetry to ensure it receives an e- as a prefix. What do you need to do that?

Perhaps Diego likes of have the choice of Fleetwood Mac’s back catalogue when going for a dump, or maybe he likes to call on a wide range of reading material that several roiled up newspapers just can’t provide. Maybe he just goes there to do his e-business and then tweets out a message saying ‘i-pood’………

The E-Bidet. KK tries out a prototype in 1996

Either way it’s all in place for June, so if El Diego decides to jack things in from the toilet, a la Kevin Keegan with England, the pampered and delicate Maradona backside will not be doing so from less than gentrified surroundings.

Utter madness.............