And so, in some sort of ramshackle order that sums up this site, back to how we got here.
Argentina, at South Africa, that is. You, I presume, are lost (hint-go back to google and type 'facial')
You will recall, dear reader, that in the last instalment, our hero, El Diego, was left in a pilot-less plane, hurtling towards shark infested waters and staring straight down the barrel of an unlikely looking football gun, loaded with bullets saying ‘Amigo, you are not going to the World Cup’ held by cybermen. And he didn’t have a parachute. Or underpants.
Well maybe not quite, but with 3 games to go, La Albiceleste weren’t in the greatest of qualifying nick and things got rapidly worse.
Standing fourth in the qualification table (top four are the automatic slots, fifth is a play off), Argentina faced a particularly difficult tie at just the wrong time; Paraguay, in their own back garden. With their mum watching.
And difficult it was too. A slick Paraguay side made regular inroads into Argentina’s penalty area, with Nelson Haedo and Salvador Cabanas particularly impressive for the hosts. As Cabanas was for most of the campaign prior to an altercation with an revolver. Shame that, good player.
It was 1-0 to the home side after 30 minutes though, following a composed finish from Haedo. Little more than Paraguay deserved having worried the Argentine upright twice already. I’ll avoid saying things went from bad to worse as it sounds clichéd (hey, never stopped me so far), but things went from bad to worse early in the second half as Juan Sebastien Veron was dismissed for a second yellow card.
Juan Sebastien Veron? Is he still playing? He is indeed, quite well in fact, back in his native homeland and viewed by El Diego as the key to getting the best from Leo Messi. A far cry from his abject shiteness in the colours of Man U and Chelsea.
Argentina did little else for the remainder of the game, and that, my friend, was that. Paraguay qualified and Diego was looking at fifth place. Play-off territory, which you’d expect to be routine anyway, what’s the fuss? Based on current form though, you’d have fancied Nicaragua’s grandma to come through against Maradona’s side.
Wait for it.......
Next up was Peru at home and a monsoon to contend with. Okay, that was too dramatic. It rained.
A nervy Argentina took the lead from a debut goal for Gonzalo Higuain, before disaster struck in the 90th minute with a Peru equalizer. Again, Argentina could have no complaints.
Just as it looked all over, René Ortubé, the only living referee in South America, managed to find enough injury time for former national clown Martin Palermo to redeem those penalty misses and score a winner. 2-1 and back in the last qualifying berth. Cue many sighs of relief. But it wasn’t all over yet. No sir.
Yeessssssss!!!
Ironically, the last game became effectively a play off in itself, with fourth placed Argentina travelling to 5th placed Uruguay in a winner takes all affair. A niggly game ensued, as if it could have been anything else. With Uruguay pressing for a very necessary late winner, up popped Huracan midfielder Mario Bolatti to score for Argentina and send then on their way, and a nation into raptures. Latching onto a long range Veron shot (approx 3 miles) which Uruguay failed to clear, Bolatti, winning only his third cap, did for Uruguay.
Yeessssssss!!!
And that was that…………Uruguay did end up winning their play off, and will be at the party too so all’s well and all that.
There you go. And here we are. Comments welcome.
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